/g/ - General

I'm just trying to go about my school life normally but in maths the most unbearable group of somewhat popular people sit behind me. they make 'ironic' cbat reddit 2 years jokes but it's every other word out of their mouth in this unbearable false American accent and it makes me want to tear off my skin and swim in the dead sea. just listening to that brain-dead god awful shit is enough to send anyone to a mental asylum. an average conversation between them sounds like this "I got a question right I'm so le epic cbatic" "yess get that le epic sex to cbat" "let's ask (my name) if he has level 26 cbaticness" "this lesson is so cbatic guys" and they have asked me if I have level 26 cbaticness, multiple times. the worst part is when I begged them to shut their fucking traps they just added me into the melting pot of horseshit jokes, saying stuff like "2 years? sex to cbat?" I hate secondary school i hate gen z I hate cbat this shit is one of my reasons

Ha…hahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That's it! I surrender! My sanity can't take this anymore! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I feel like having sex with someone! I'm not even joking!! I'M FEELING REALLY CBATICNO no no i'm NOT cbatic, Cbat isn't real…but why is there CUM all over my house?!?!?! OH NO…I hear moaning from my bedroom…oh God, oh fuck!!! I have to go to MY BEDROOM!!! My roommates being kinda CBATIC right now! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! The Satin Panthers cover is painted on my walls in blood…I've been humming Cbat to myself for 2 years now…2 YEARS!!! IS THAT A CBAT REFERENCE?! TODAY I FUCKED UP!!! HAHAHAHAHA! KILL ME KILL ME KILL ME KILL ME KILL ME

Ok this exploded more than I expected, and has been a bit overwhelming with the messages but thought I’d give an update.

The attention hasn’t been exactly positive and this hasn’t been the best thing to happen for my relationship and it’s now sadly ended.

I didn’t expect it to blow up so much, I should of used an anonymous name instead of my real name and our real ages.

There aren’t many 25 year old Tyler Life’s who are in a relationship with their s/o for 2 years who is 20.

Unfortunately her younger sister recognised this and showed her parents who wasn’t happy at all and made the situation extremely awkward.

What made it more awkward, and cemented the fact that it was me, is that they recognised the song. Once at a family dinner we were discussing music tastes and my ex girlfriend stated that I have an odd taste in music. Everyone laughed and pressed me to play something from my phone of what I like as music, to which I then blessed their ears with CBAT.

Her father laughed and said it was terrible, I guess we all have different tastes. Although I nodded in agreement at the time, I was thinking in my head that this is a great fucking song.

We are over now and I am moving on. I already revealed my face on tiktok, but with the amount of hate I originally got I decided to say I didn’t have it and backtracked.
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“CBAT GOOD SOUTH PARK BAD” I say, as the sweat dribbles down my forehead and unto my chest. I start uncontrollably shaking, as I log onto reddit to raid r/southpark because south park is worse than hitler. Before I do so, I quickly go jerk off to the latest cbatic porn video on porn hub. It feels euphoric. I am absolutely ready. I enter the subreddit. It’s even worse than I could have imagined. People have interests in something I don’t like. This can’t be happening, I exclaim, with piss dripping down my balls. I start screeching at the top of my lungs as I smash my table with my chicken tendies on it. I start furiously typing on my dry cum-soaked keyboard, clack after clack, vigorously replying to someone who enjoys south park. I cry, and cry, and cry, as the cum drips down my dicknballs and into my ass, because someone enjoys south park and I don’t; in fact, it’s such an atrocity that I start shaking uncontrollably once again. I need to get revenge on those evil fans. I launder hundreds of thousands of dollars after years of hard work. I rob numerous banks across the country and change my name and appearance almost monthly. I am ready. I start a botnet; It mass downvotes every post that puts south park in any form of a positive light. I will be the savior of reddit; taking away the internet points of the evil fans. The botnet is hard at work, absolutely obliterating anyone who has a positive opinion about south park. I start a sentient ai that hounds out south park fans and gives me their location, name, bank details, and their souls. After a hard-worked day of sending south park fans death threats and other ‘content’, I lie back down in my piss and cum soaked bed with my anime body pillow, and say to myself ‘today was a good day’.

>Joe Biden drops out: Read his letter to America

My Fellow Americans,

Over the past three and a half years, we have made great progress as a Nation.

Ive tripped on the stairs a couple of times and sniffed a bunch of children, also I hired a retarded assassin.

Today, America has the strongest economy in the world. We've made historic investments in rebuilding our Nation blah blah blah shit nobody cares about.

I wanted to announce that I pussied out and i withdraw my presidential campaign for 2024.

I believe today what I always have: That there is nothing America can't do - when we do it together. We just have to remember we are the United States of America. or something

- Joe Biden

TIFU / My (20F) girlfriend of two years told me the music that I (25M) play during sex is weird and a major turn off

A little back story; when I first started having sex I researched into ways to be better as I was a little stiff and pretty much had no idea what I was doing. I read online that you can play music and match the rhythm in order to put on a better performance.

I searched love making songs and started slowly creating a playlist in which I was comfortable matching the rhythm.

There are a few songs to my playlist. However there is one song in particular, which actually happens to be my favourite, that my girlfriend hates and says turns her off in a major way.

I don’t understand why it has taken her two years to tell me she hates that song, it’s a good love making song with good rhythm. I feel the way I fucked up is I could have possibly asked her previously if she likes the playlist or any songs she’d like to add/change. But to leave it for two years thinking our sex life is great but in her eyes has just been ruined by my music has left the whole situation feeling awkward and I’m a bit annoyed.

I pretty much played this tune every single time so the amount of times she must have not been enjoying it, when I thought the complete opposite is annoying but also embarrassing in ways.

Not to mention my previous partners, however they never complained about the song so maybe it’s just her?

It’s fucked up the relationship tbh because sex feels awkward now. The other day we were having sex with no music but I was still thrusting to the tune playing in my head. She recognised this and asked me to stop.
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not a fan of the guy, but holy shit this image goes hard. republican party PR is gonna go through he fucking roof with this one, strap in monerobros

ITT we posting bangers

i saw this chan on reedit

Its easy to be private on pc, but phones are literally designed to spy on you. Monerobros, do you have any advice on how to stop your smartphone from tracking you? should I just buy a nokia and an mp3 player and call it a day?